Not a vegetarian but I approve of this.
Previous Chapter: Poll-Venture #2: The Golden Omelette [Chapter 13: It's Your Unlucky Day]
Chapter 13: It’s Your Unlucky Day
Status: [1/1], Lefty
Without a second thought, you toss the square of tofu into your mouth and swallow it whole. You can immediately feel its power coursing through your veins. You feel… sleepy. Your last thought before you black out is: Gimme a Forcefield!
You blearily open your eyes, and see only darkness. It feels as if you are coming out of the deepest sleep of your life – and perhaps you are. After a few minutes of drifting on the edge of consciousness, you try to move your arms, and have the unpleasant revelation that they are tied behind your back. The movement of your legs is similarly restricted. And there is a dark cloth covering your eyes. Only then do you realize you have been duped and kidnapped by a bartender.
“Where am I?” you croak.
“You are right where you belong,” replies the scathingly cold voice of a man from behind you. “Xaan.”
You can’t see the speaker, but it matters not – deep in your heart of hearts, you’ve been expecting this meeting for a long time.
“Kaleos Xaan,” you spit.
“No, no, no!” the voice remonstrates. “How many times must I tell you blithering peasants?! Kaleos Xaan is no more. He died. I am The Reborn, and I am far more powerful than that fool Kaleos ever was! I have UNLIMITED POWER, as a matter of fact.”
“Oh really?” you retort. “Then how come you’re a mindless puppet of the Abyssian?”
“What! Who told you that?!” Kaleos screeches. “I am no puppet! The Reborn is his own master! I rule ALL of Xenkai! If I so chose, I could order all of the Abyssian on the continent to be slain, and it would be done in half a heartbeat!”
Sensing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, you say, “Half a heartbeat, eh? That seems a little unrealistic, if you ask me… why don’t you prove it, if you’re really so powerful?”
There is a lengthy pause, and then Kaleos responds, sounding even more irritated and petulant than he did previously. “Because I don’t feel like it! I am the Emperor, not you! If I played a Blistering Skorn in front of you, you wouldn’t even take damage! You know why? Because you. Are. NOTHING!”
Since you can’t do much else, you decide to annoy The Reborn even further. “Well, I guess I’ll be going, then. I don’t remember Nothing being on the list of rare ingredients for your special soup.”
But Kaleos just chuckles dryly. “Thank you for reminding me. You may have been nerfed into a worthless laughingstock, but as far as my ‘special soup’ is concerned, you are still the wanderer of Mythron. GUARDS! Show this insolent ingredient to its rightful place!”
“At once, m’lord,” two voices say simultaneously. One guard grabs you by the feet, the other by your shoulders, and together they unceremoniously heave you off the ground. Then you start moving… towards what is probably your imminent demise.
- Resign to your fate
- Twist and wriggle your way to freedom
- Try to bribe the guards to free you with promises of the Golden Omelette
Accept your fate!!!
First part: No.
Second part: Sure.
Previous Chapter: Poll-Venture #2: The Golden Omelette [Chapter 14: Bribery]
Chapter 14: Bribery
Status: [1/1], Lefty
There is only one way you can possibly escape this predicament. As the saying goes, “When words and punches fail, try bribery.” Empty words will not make the guards betray their master for you, and it would be hard for you to punch them when your hands are tied up. Besides, they are probably armed. Bribery is the only course of action left open to you.
“Hey, guards!” you whisper.
“Oooh!” one of the guards says to his companion. He sounds young and breathless with excitement. “He’s gonna to try to convince us to free him! I’ve always wanted something like this to happen!”
“Shut up,” the other guard responds, in a deeper, older voice.
“Listen to me,” you start, but one of the guards slams you in the stomach with his fist, silencing your plea and forcing you to gasp for breath.
“Shut up,” the old guard says again, this time directed at you.
“Hey, let him speak. This could get interesting!” It is the young guard’s voice.
“I will not tell you again. Shut. Up.”
"But – "
“Oh, be quiet!” Suddenly, one of the guards lets go of your shoulders, and your head cracks painfully against the ground. Then you hear a sickening squelching sound and a muffled cry of anguish. The other guard releases your feet.
Suddenly, light floods your vision, momentarily blinding you. The face of one of the guards is hovering over you. He appears to be in his twenties, and has the light blue hair that marks him as an Abyssian.
“You were saying?” the guard asks casually, a wide smirk on his clean-shaven face. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see the body of an older guard lying on the ground, a bloody spear protruding from his chest.
You are a bit startled by this strange turn of events, but clearly it is in your favor, so you decide to make the most of it.
“As you may know, I am the great Mythron Wanderer. Before I was so rudely abducted, I was on an epic quest to find the Golden Chrysalis, the most powerful artifact in the world. If you let me go so I can claim it, I will repay you a thousandfold with the abilities it grants me. Anything you could ever want will be yours!”
The guard mulls over your offer, then replies, “No deal. Once you have the power of the Chrysalis, you can just use it all for yourself. There’s no way I can hold you to your end of the bargain… unless I come along on your epic journey, that is, and you let me take the Golden Chrysalis instead!”
You feign consternation, while secretly exulting on the inside. “What! I can’t give you the Chrysalis! You’ll have anything – everything – else you want, but not that!”
“I will have that,” says the guard, reaching for his spear and pulling it out of the older guard’s corpse. “Unless you want to die, of course. Your choice.” He gives you an annoying grin.
“Fine,” you concede. “Help me escape and I’ll bring you to the Chrysalis. Just seeing it will be enough for me. It’s yours.”
“I knew you’d see it my way.” The guard cuts the ropes around your arms and legs with his spear. “Better get your armor on.”
- Do as the guard says and escape
- Take the dead guard’s spear and turn the Abyssian scum into a shish-kebab, then go and finish off Kaleos
Aren’t all humanlike abyssian female? All the demons and stuff are the male ones iicr.
Supposedly, yes. But who really knows?
ThIs Is RuInInG mY iMeRsIoN!
Have you considered that the guard is not an Abyssian at all, but just someone who dyed their hair?
Plots within plots within plots, my friend.
Chapter 15: Plots Within Plots Within Plots
Status: [1/1], Lefty
You put on the dead’s guard’s armor and pick up his spear.
Status: [3/3], Lefty
The living guard leads you out of the palace grounds (for you were in the audience chamber of Xaan Imperial Palace). No one tries to stop you. You follow him out of the shadow of the palace walls, down the red cobbled streets of Xaan, and into a small inn devoid of customers.
It is then that he rips off his face.
“What the – !” you exclaim, stumbling backwards in fear. But there is another face under the one that the guard just tore off – a woman’s face. She removes a net that is wrapped around the top of her head, releasing a braid of black hair down to her waist, and gives you a smirk that is no less annoying than her Abyssian mask’s smile had been.
“Thanks for the bonus egg,” she says, in a completely different voice than that she had spoken in before. “I was planning on freeing you anyway, but you so looked like you wanted to bargain…”
“Wha… who?” you manage to sputter.
“I am Watashi o Koroshite, the leader of the Phoenix Fighters – an underground rebellion of those loyal to the old Songhai Empire. Kaleos may have been Reborn from darkness, but today all of Xaan will be reborn from fire! And from the ashes will rise a new empire – one no longer ruled by the Abyssian Host!”
You have a bad feeling about this. “What do you mean, reborn from the ashes?” you ask warily.
“I mean that on my first day at work as the Emperor’s royal guard – today – I planted Thunderbombs all around the Imperial Palace. By now, other Phoenix Fighters have done the same all around Xaan. They will be remotely detonated at nightfall, and when the sun rises again, it will be over an empire freed of the Abyssian invaders!”
“More like an empire freed of everyone!” you counter, astounded at what you just heard. “Why would you blow up Xaan for no reason? Tons of innocents will die! You were in The Reborn’s presence earlier today – why didn’t you just kill him then and there?!”
Watashi just laughs. “I don’t deal enough damage to defeat The Reborn in single combat, let alone his legions of demons. But hundreds of Thunderbombs blowing the whole city to smithereens… now that’s a lotta damage. And there are no innocents in this city. The inhabitants are all either cravens who bow down to the Abyssian filth or out-and-out traitors to the Songhai Empire. They deserve death. The only people worthy of living – the Phoenix Fighters – are evacuating the city as we speak, and after the Fiery Rebirth they will return to restore the ashes of Xaan to their former glory. It is time we were going as well.” With that, she rips a rug off the floor, opens a hidden hatch, and vaults down into it.
For a moment, you are left nonplussed. But there is no time to waste. Night is falling.
- Follow Watashi, and stand idly by as she blows Xaan to smithereens
- Follow Watashi and prevent her from triggering the explosions by any means necessary
- Find a Prophet of the White Palm in Xaan to negate the Thunderbombs’ damage
- Go warn The Reborn about his impending demise
Is Watashi the new Phil Smith? Phil Smith for Flex Tape? Can the thunderbomb damage be restored by Flex Tape? I think it can.
Oh no, she’s a suzumebachi, things can’t go well…
To every fool who voted to find the Prophet of the White Palm: everyone in Xaan deserves death for joining the Abyssian. Why would you want to save them?
But…but…b-b-but the flex tape. Prophet of the White Flex Tape.
Previous Chapter: Poll-Venture #2: The Golden Omelette [Tiebreaker!]
Chapter 15: Fiery Rebirth
Status: [3/3], Lefty
Briefly, you consider saving Xaan from its impending doom. You might be able to find a Prophet of the White Palm somewhere in the city who can shield everyone from the flames, or you can try to kill Watashi before she detonates the Thunderbombs… but why should you? Watashi is right: the people of Xaan don’t deserve to live, and the Abyssian scourge must be eradicated at all costs. This is the only way. So you jump through the trapdoor with the sole intention of saving yourself from a fiery demise.
You chase after Watashi as she dashes down endless twisting tunnels (you assume that they were dug so the Emperor could secretly move about the city without being assaulted by mobs of peasants along the way) until you finally emerge into the light. You find yourself on the outskirts of Xaan:
The perfect place to watch the world burn.
You stand next to Watashi in solemn silence as the glorious Sun melts below the horizon like a Blazing Spine ice cream before a heartbroken Lightbender.
“It is time to avenge Kaleos and the Songhai Empire,” Watashi says gravely.
“Light 'er up!” you respond, perhaps with a bit too much enthusiasm for such a sad occasion.
Watashi snaps her fingers…
…and the night is dark no longer. A blinding white flash forces you to shield your eyes with your arm. Then the sound hits you like a mace to the head (the same sound effects really shouldn’t be able to overlap), and a wave of heat that brings back painful memories of the desert washes over you. Long before the white light fades from your vision or your ears stop ringing, the city of Xaan and all its inhabitants are gone. All that remains are a few crumbling walls and a raging firestorm that makes the horizon glow with an eerie red radiance. You are frozen in place, captivated by the revelry of the dancing flames, until Watashi quietly speaks up.
“Let us go. The other Phoenix Fighters will soon™ return to the city and start to rebuild. New Xaan shall rise where The Reborn and his legions fell. But we have another engagement…”
“Yes,” you mumble, and manage to break your gaze away from the fires. “To the Chakri Monastery!”
High in the Saberspine Mountains you stand, Watashi by your side. The grand Chakri Monastery rises above you, each of its seven ornate tiers capped with an eave of golden tiles. You walk up to the sliding shōji door.
- Yell, “Is anybody there?”
- Knock on the paper screen
- Open the paper screen
- Slash the paper screen to shreds with your spear
- Sit down and wait for someone to let you in
- Kill Watashi
Next Chapter: Poll-Venture #2: The Golden Omelette [Tiebreaker!]
Finish her… 15kills
- Kill Watashi
- Sit down and wait for someone to let you in
P.S. I’m very disappointed that no one deciphered Watashi’s name yet…