A bit late to the party but anyways…
In regards to falling in love:
To control falling in love sounds like a bit of a contradiction. I think that given the time and/or circumstances, we as human beings can grow to love others. But to use “falling in love”, to me, indicates a more juvenile, spontaneous affection. That is to say, unlike learning more about / spending time with a person, falling in love is a bit more… random, should I say? That’s not quite right, but I hope it gets the message across.
Of course, by spending time around someone or observing someone more, the “chances” of falling in love are probably increased - you can’t exactly fall in love with someone you don’t know exists.
If we were to talk about love itself, of course there are many different forms. Which is why I want to address another view.
In regards to controlling love:
If we were just talking about falling in love, I’d say total control is impossible. But with regards to AFTER “falling in love”, there are definitely methods of controlling how you feel (I’ve been there). I’m a bit reluctant to go too far in depth, since it’d require a hell of a lot more context, but I think you can, with perhaps some effort, mold your relationship / feelings.
This might qualify in and of itself as controlling love, but even then I think you could go further. At the end of the day, you’ll never have complete control over how you feel all the time, but given time, I think you can at least modulate the intensity of certain emotions - including the wide umbrella of things that we call love. We can also transmute certain feelings by taking a new perspective, and I think this can apply to love as well.
Well, maybe that made some sense. I’m a little tired, too, but I’ve got more to say.
In regards to feeling emotions again:
When you say “as if it were a present incident”, a few things come to mind.
If you were referring to experiencing the same emotion again, I certainly feel it’s different the second, third, or nth time around than any other time - especially because the circumstances are likely different.
That is to say, for example, I’m more angry about things when I’m alone than when I’m with others - so feeling the anger again would probably be different the second time around.
If you were referring to thinking back to an emotional feeling, I think it’s definitely different, especially if your perspective changed. In any event, how it is in the moment and how it is looking back… it’s a lot different.
In regards to the difference between the memory of an emotion and the emotion itself:
It’s… a bit complicated. Of course, your memory of an emotion you’ve felt before would constitute the emotion in question, no? But on the other hand, I can recall times when I’ve just lost self control in anger, and I recall certain emotions about it… which are obviously not the same. Perhaps it’s just not of the same magnitude… that is to say, memories of emotions are much weaker than the emotions felt in the moment? Or perhaps it’s something entirely different.
In regards to forgetting an emotional experience:
Yes, 100%. I think a good example is of birthday parties: I’m almost certain that I’ve had plenty of these emotional experiences (happiness, joy) when I was younger, but now I can barely recall any of them. Maybe it’s not the best example, but in any event, we forget a lot of things as we grow older.
An argument could be made, I suppose, that we don’t forget emotional experiences, but experiences cease to be “emotional” if we forget them… though that’d defeat the purpose of the original question.
In regards to remembering an experience void of emotional connections:
Yes, yes, yes. So many memories, simply because there weren’t much emotions in the first place; and a multitude more because the emotions simply did not persist through my remembrance. One example I can think of is an embarrassing experience that I no longer remember with embarrassment. Actually, a lot of scary experiences are pretty void of emotional connection when I look back at it, too.
So… yeah. @isbee, I hope that helps in some way. School has been tough and so I haven’t been on much, but if I was able to in part repay you for the joyous memories, then this will have been worth it many times over I’m looking forward to whatever else you have to throw at us! <3